Feeling Angry? You’re totally normal!

Anger is normal — it often means something important to you is being threatened or ignored. But when anger is explosive or constant, it can damage friendships, make school life harder, and leave you feeling worse. Practicing being self-compassionate can help you notice anger without feeling badly about yourself and choose healthier ways to respond.

Start by noticing the anger. Pause and name it:  Say “Wow, I’m angry! Saying it out loud or in your head lowers the intensity and gives you room to decide what to do next.

Be kind to yourself. Instead of thinking, “I’m terrible for getting mad,” try, “This is hard. Anyone would feel this.” A gentler inner voice calms your body and makes it easier to act thoughtfully.

Check your body. Anger can feel like tight muscles, a fast heart, or clenched fists. Slow, steady breathing helps — inhale for four seconds, hold one, exhale for six. Putting a hand on your chest and saying, “I’ve got you,” is a small caring action that actually reduces stress.

Look under the anger. Often it hides hurt, fear, or feeling ignored. Ask yourself: “What do I really need?” — a boundary, an apology, or some space. Naming the need makes it easier to take one clear, helpful step.

Helpful steps you can try:

• Walk away to cool down

• Tell someone calmly how you feel

• Write your thoughts in a journal

• Do grounding: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear

Practice short self-compassion exercises:

• Self-compassion break: Say “This is hard right now”, and then “Everyone feels angry at times!” and then “I can be kind to myself right now.”

• Grounding: focus on how the soles of your feet feel on the floor

• Talk with a trusted friend or adult

If anger feels out of control or happens a lot, reaching out to a counselor or trusted adult is a strong choice. Being kind to yourself doesn’t stop you from feeling angry — it helps you respond in ways that protect your relationships and your wellbeing.