Butterflies Before the First Day? You're Not the Only One.

The night before school starts can feel...weird.

Maybe you're excited to see your friends. Maybe you're looking forward to playing a sport, taking an art class, or finally getting your driver's permit.

But mixed in with all of that excitement might be something else.

A knot in your stomach.

Butterflies.

A racing mind.

A feeling that something could go wrong.

If you're feeling nervous, apprehensive, or even scared about the new school year, you're in good company. Starting something new—even something you've done before—can bring up a lot of emotions.

Why Does a New School Year Feel So Scary?

Our brains love predictability.

When we know what's coming, our brains can relax. But when we're stepping into something new, our brains switch into "What if?" mode.

What if I don't have any classes with my friends?

What if my teachers are really strict?

What if I don't fit in?

What if I embarrass myself?

What if this year is harder than last year?

Sound familiar?

Your brain isn't trying to ruin your day. It's actually trying to protect you by scanning for possible problems. The trouble is, it often overestimates danger and underestimates your ability to handle whatever comes your way.

Remember Last Year?

Think back to the beginning of the last school year.

Chances are, there were things you were worried about that never happened.

Maybe you thought you'd never find your classrooms—but after a week, you knew exactly where to go.

Maybe you were convinced you wouldn't make any friends—but by October, you were laughing with people at lunch.

Maybe you were nervous about a class that turned out to be one of your favorites.

Our brains are really good at imagining worst-case scenarios. They're not always as good at imagining things working out.

Everyone Is Carrying Something

Here's something you probably won't notice on the first day:

The student who looks super confident? They might be wondering if people still like them.

The new kid? They're hoping someone will smile at them.

The person who seems to know everyone? They may be worried about keeping up their grades.

The teacher standing in front of the class? Believe it or not, many teachers get first-day jitters, too. I used to be a classroom teacher. I was always nervous on the first day!

Almost everyone is carrying around at least a little nervousness.

Some people are just better at hiding it.

You Don't Have to Be Fearless

Sometimes we think confidence means not feeling afraid.

It doesn't.

Confidence isn't the absence of fear.

It's being willing to take the next step even when you're nervous.

Walking into school with butterflies doesn't mean you're weak.

It means you're doing something that matters.

Try Talking to Yourself Like a Friend

Imagine your best friend texted you the night before school and said,

"I'm so nervous. I think this year is going to be terrible."

Would you answer:

"You're right. You should probably panic."

Probably not.

You'd probably say something like,

"It makes sense that you're nervous. The first day is a big deal. But you've gotten through first days before, and I know you'll figure this one out, too."

That's self-compassion.

And here's the important part:

You deserve to hear those words from yourself, too.

Three Things to Remember

When your mind starts spinning with "What if?" questions, try these instead:

1. "I've done hard things before."
You have made it through first days, difficult classes, awkward moments, and challenges before. You have more experience than your worried brain is giving you credit for.

2. "I don't have to have everything figured out today."
It's called the first day for a reason. You don't need to know everyone's name, have your schedule memorized, or feel completely comfortable right away.

3. "Everyone else is adjusting, too."
Even if it doesn't look like it, lots of other students are wondering where they fit in and hoping things go well.

One Small Challenge

Before school starts, think of one kind thing you can do for yourself.

Maybe it's getting to bed a little earlier.

Packing your backpack the night before.

Listening to your favorite music on the way to school.

Taking three slow breaths before you walk through the doors.

Or simply reminding yourself:

"It's okay to be nervous. I can be nervous and brave at the same time."

Know what I used to tell myself when I was a teacher?

 “Remember, you’re always nervous the first day. It’s part of the territory of being a teacher. And it always works out just fine!”

Here's the Truth

The first day of school doesn't have to be perfect.

You don't have to say all the right things.

You don't have to impress everyone.

You don't have to know exactly where you belong yet.

You just have to show up.

One conversation.

One class.

One lunch period.

One day at a time.

Before you know it, the hallways won't feel so unfamiliar, your schedule will become routine, and the butterflies will begin to settle.

Until then, be patient with yourself.

You're starting something new.

And that takes courage.

If you're feeling nervous about the school year, try one of our self-compassion practices. I particularly like Compassionate Friend because it reminds us that we have a friend within us always. And we can call upon that friend whenever we need to.

And that friend is ourselves😊.