When Your Parents Don’t Get You

When Your Parents Don’t Get You: How to Deal With It (Without Losing Your Mind)

Let’s be honest—sometimes it feels like your parents just don’t understand you. Maybe they don’t get your music, your fashion, your feelings, or why something is such a big deal to you. Maybe they’re always giving advice you didn’t ask for, saying “When I was your age…” or assuming they know what’s best without really listening.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Almost every teen feels misunderstood by their parents at some point. And while it can be frustrating (or even heartbreaking), there are ways to deal with it—without yelling, shutting down, or giving up.

Step One: Give yourself permission to feel

It’s okay to feel hurt, annoyed, or disappointed when your parents don’t “get” you. Your feelings are valid. Instead of pushing them down or telling yourself to “get over it,” try saying: “This is really frustrating, and I deserve to be heard.” That’s self-compassion—treating yourself kindly when things are tough.

Step Two: Try to see their side (even just a little)

It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it might help to remember that parents often act out of worry or love—even if it comes out all wrong. They may not realize how much you’ve changed, or they might still see you as the little kid you used to be. That doesn’t make their behavior okay, but understanding their mindset might help you feel less alone.

Step Three: Communicate calmly and clearly

When you’re ready, try telling them how you feel using “I” statements. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me!” try:
“I feel unheard when I try to explain things and you interrupt me.”
That makes it more likely they’ll actually listen—and not just get defensive.

Step Four: Find support elsewhere

If your parents can’t give you the understanding you need, it’s okay to turn to friends, counselors, or trusted adults. You deserve to feel seen and supported.

Step Five: Take care of you

Not being understood doesn’t mean you’re wrong, broken, or dramatic. Be kind to yourself. Journal. Breathe. Do things that make you feel strong, grounded, and you.

Your voice matters. You matter. And even if your parents don’t fully understand you right now, that doesn’t mean they never will. Keep showing up as your true self—with compassion and courage.