Why Comparing Yourself With Others Hurts (and how to deal with it)

Why Social Comparison Hurts (and How to Deal With It)

Have you ever scrolled through social media and suddenly felt worse about yourself? Maybe someone got into your dream college, posted a flawless selfie, or shared their “perfect” weekend. That sinking feeling? It’s called social comparison, and you’re definitely not the only one who feels it.

Social comparison is when we measure ourselves against others—how we look, what we achieve, how many friends we have. Sometimes, it can motivate us to grow or learn. But often, it just makes us feel like we’re not enough.

Here’s the problem: when we compare, we usually focus on what others have and what we lack. We forget that social media shows highlight reels, not real life. Everyone struggles behind the scenes, even if their feed looks flawless.

Constant comparison can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and feeling disconnected. It creates pressure to always be better, thinner, smarter, or more popular. That’s exhausting—and unfair to yourself.

So what can you do?

• Catch the scroll trap: Notice when you’re comparing and ask, “Is this helping me feel better or worse?”

• Focus inward: Instead of measuring up to others, try asking, “What matters to me?” Set goals based on your own values, not someone else’s feed.

• Practice gratitude: Listing what you do have—like loyal friends, a talent, or a kind heart—can shift your mindset.

• Be real: Connect with people who are honest about their ups and downs. Authenticity beats perfection every time.

You don’t have to be the smartest, coolest, or best-looking to be worthy. You already are. The only person you really need to compete with is who you were yesterday. And you’re doing just fine.